October 25, 2011

Bully??

I have been doing a lot of research lately trying to find the best dog chew treat/toy. Utah is an aggressive chewer.
He is  good boy, he doesn't chew my stuff...but his toys...don't last long. Have you heard of the Kong toy? Thick, strong, supposedly indestructible rubber toy. He punched his tooth through one and got it stuck. He's super smart.

Everyone was telling me to try bully sticks. Their dogs loved them. They are all natural, no plastic or chemicals. The dog can chew chunks off that won't get stuck in his throat like bones do...cuz he gulps like a shark.

So you're probably thinking, "Kate, what is a bully stick?"

Well, I'll tell you. A bully stick...is a bull penis. NBD.
I'd never heard of them. Had no clue what they were. On the ingredients label it reads "Bull Pizzle". I had no idea what the heck a pizzle was either. So I looked it up:

Pizzle is an old English word for penis, derived from Low German pesel or Flemish Dutch pezel, diminutive of pees 'sinew'. Pizzles are almost exclusively used/produced today as chewing treats for dogs. They are a fibrous muscle, and are prepared by cleaning, stretching, twisting and then drying. Bully Sticks, as they are commonly called, can be smoked in a traditional smoker. They can also be sun dried or oven baked. The result is a very hard, 80–100 centimeters (30–40 in) long brown stick, which is then sawed into pieces appropriate for the size of the dog.

So here is your mental image to set the stage for the story: Me standing in PetCo, in front of a hanging display of extra large bully sticks...as the light slowly dawned on what I was looking at.

I was torn. This is a healthy treat for my dog. It's also disgusting. Could I really pick a couple up and carry them to the register and hand them to the cashier...and then take them home and let my dog eat them?

As I was standing there contemplating the meaning of life...a PetCo employee came up and asked if HE could help me. Of couse it was a man. 

I blushed bright red. Turns out I'm a blusher. Who knew. 

He chuckled softly as he glanced back and forth between me and the bully sticks. 

I muttered, "I don't think I can do this", and started to turn away. He laughed and said that he could show me where some smaller ones were. I possibly made a crack about size and it actually mattering...

We walked to another display with much smaller bully sticks, some were even braided and curled. I said something about the smaller ones being much easier to handle...I wasn't thinking!!!!! Turns out that when you are discussing pizzle...everything sounds dirty. We were both blushing at this point and I told him that he needed to just walk away. He did. 

I grabbed a couple bully sticks, paid for everything and got the heck out of Dodge. 

Needless to say, Utah loved them, I will have to buy more now.
What's that hanging out of your mouth bud?
NBD. 

If you want to find them for your dog, they are at PetCo and I'm sure at other pet supply stores. 

This is the best brand to buy: Merrick

They are made in the USA, Texas bulls. And their product description is hilarious:

"Although this treat is definitely a conversation piece, we do not suggest that you bring it with you on a first date. It has been known to cause severe blushing. This is one of the most popular treats in the pet world and it is no secret that dogs love it. This 30 inch bully stick boasts that bigger is better and is made right here in America. You can have the peace of mind that they were manufactured under our country’s regulations and standards."

The end.  

7 comments:

Amanda said...

OH Kt! I love this story. :)

BUSH BABE said...

LOL. WEll it's ONE way to make sure that all parts of the animals are used to their optimimum. Can't think what ELSE you might use it for!

Your reaction made me laugh though... so many things about my world would make you blush girl!
:-)
BB

Jayne said...

I was blushing all the way through this post! I had to read with my eyes covered for half of it!
Excuse me while I go and let the blood relax down into the rest of my body.

And Utah, so happy for you.

karla said...

Thank you, thank you!!! Needed a tear jerking laugh. I love you my virtuous, beautiful daughter.

zachary said...

Next time your in sportsman's warehouse go check out the cane display. You will find nice varnished bull-pizzle canes with brass handles. Pretty cool...

Kate Kepsel said...

BB - yes i guess it's good that they are using all of the critter...I guess.

And yes I'm sure I would spend a good amount of time blushing in your world :-)

Jayne - he may not get any more of them, they make his breath stink

Mom - Glad this made you smile :-)

Amanda - Thanks! I need to come see that baby!!!

Zachary - eww.

Becca said...

KATIE! That has to be the best story ever -- oh, holy grossness. And hello? The company has a great sense of humor. If you can laugh at such things. Love this. So much.