June 15, 2011

The Day I Almost Died

Nope, it wasn't in Israel... it was last Saturday.

It all went down like this:

I went outside to try and figure out why my sprinklers weren't coming on. Being the very sprinkler savvy person that I am...I looked in the sprinkler box in the back yard. I twisted some knobs and declared "What the beans?!? Everything is fine!".

Still no sprinklers.

I then found another sprinkler box in the front yard. It appeared rather magically. I could've sworn it wasn't there before. Just saying.

I took the lid off and set it to the side. I prepared to reach in the twist some knobs with precision and finesse.

Suddenly I caught a infinitesimal movement from the corner of my eye. I have amazing eyes, I could be a sniper. They call me eagle-eye-Kate.

I froze and looked to my left.

And saw....

This!

THE BIGGEST BLACK WIDOW ON THE PLANET!!!!!

I uttered some tame expletive along the lines of "Pleh!" and gracefully fell backwards onto my tush.

I then ran into the house to get my phone and the Raid. The phone to call the person I always call when i'm in trouble...and the Raid...well, duh.
The conversation with Caleb went something like this:

Me: "AHHHHHHHHH Caleb the hugest monster black widow ever just attacked me and I almost died!"

Caleb (sounding oh so concerned for my life): "You didnt kill it did you? Don't kill it. I'm on my way down."

Me: "Fine. I won't kill it. GET HERE!"

I then ran back into the house to get my camera... because...well, duh.

I tried to take some good pics but I was scared to get too close and my macro stinks. But i did have fun playing with some PW actions :-)

Look at how amazing her hourglass is!
70's Spider


I think my favorite is Heartland Spider.

So anyway Caleb showed up in about two seconds with a jar and leather gloves. He captured it for the office. They keep black widows as pets at their shop. They feed them and they get even bigger. Sick. They name them all Black Betty. Great song BTW.

Side note: The reason he showed up so fast is that I have black widow killing experience. Back in high school I was babysitting and we found a black widow on the wall in the garage. I decided that I should dispose of it so that it wouldn't kill one of my brothers. I would never live that down...

I looked around me at the various killing implements and decided on...the axe.

Turns out that I have never lived down hacking a huge whole in the garage wall trying to kill a spider.

Whatever.

Black Betty by Ram Jam for your viewing pleasure.

6 comments:

meegz said...

If I could "like" this post I would:) Great story -- and geez, just tell those brother of yours that everyone has hacked a hole in the wall with an ax trying to kill a spider, duh!:)

Jayne said...

So glad you lived. So glad you didn't have an axe handy.

Hey... come to think... weren't you the one who tried to kill a mouse with a #10 can of chili?

Jayne said...

P.S. LOVE the new look, Kate! Wow!

Kate said...

Exactly Megan! I mean it would be weird if I hadn't tried to kill it with an axe. I hope you had a great birthday today!

Kate said...

Jayne - ugh. i just can't seem to kill vermin like a normal person. Shall we go into all the ways i killed mice at camp? And most of them were an accident. So many drowned in pots of water left to soak overnight. 14 died in the syrup puddle under the stove...I'm going to Hell. It's official.

And thanks! I found a new site with free templates :-) I really liked this one!

BUSH BABE said...

LOL - I have the funniest mental image now... look OUT spider. BTW I adore Black Betty...
:-)
BB