August 20, 2010

What if...

We all make a million decisions in our lives that don't really change the course we are on. But I'm sure we all have those moments where a decision changes the direction of your life. Do you ever think about what would've happened if you had chosen differently?

I'm not sure why but i have been feeling so introspective this past week or so. I don't normally like to live in the past or think of what might of been. Seems useless to me. Maybe because I'm feeling a bit unfulfilled right now...who knows.

Anyway the 'what if' I've been contemplating a lot lately is a huge one.

Eight years ago I moved to Hawaii to go to school. I LOVED it. I loved the friends i made from all of the world.

I loved living steps from the ocean.

I loved how laid back it was there. I loved wearing flip flops everyday.

I loved the flowers everywhere. I loved working at a luau.

I just loved everything.

But after a year I decided to move back to Utah. It's really expensive to live in Hawaii and I missed my family.

This week I've been wondering if i should've stayed and thinking about how different my life might be if i had.

Now, you never know, but I'm guessing i would be married and have three kids if i'd stayed. Not many people escape BYU Hawaii unmarried. I'd be living in Hawaii or New Zealand. I fell in love with at least four Kiwi boys and two Aussie's while there...just saying. And it made me a bit sad to think of what i might of missed.

But then the thing that really got me thinking was what i would've missed if i had stayed in Hawaii...I started looking at pictures from the past eight years and contemplating. It was a bit surreal. Those pictures would not exist. Those events, while they still might of happened, would be different because i wasn't there. Try it sometime, it's weird.

I would not of started this blog and met amazing blog friends like Bush Babe (this is her beautiful calendar) and the Cheaping Girls.


I wouldn't of gone on a study abroad to Costa Rica and learned so much...


I wouldn't of moved to Oregon and grown so close to my family there...



I wouldn't of fallen in love with the Oregon coast and taken multiple trips back...


I wouldn't of discovered that this little munchkin loves pink heels. Sorry Zach :-)


I wouldn't of been able to read to my niece any time i want.


I would not of basically decided that my niece and nephew were mine...sorry Jayne


I would've missed being there when this munchkin was born...


I would've missed amazing reunions with best friends from high school...


I would've missed spending loads of time with my nephews...


I would've missed waking up to this sweet face while camping...


I would've missed helping to build my parents house...


I would've missed having a great roommates...



Meeting amazing new friends in Park City...



Ej's dance recital...


And this munchkin's tired face...


You really can't live in the past or dwell on what might of been...but I guess what I'm trying to say is that despite what might of happened if i would of stayed in Hawaii, i am so grateful for all of the experiences I've had, friends I've made and time I've been able to spend with family because I didn't stay. I would not trade them for anything.

Ok. Done with the longest post ever. I promise i won't do this again for a while.

8 comments:

Amanda said...

Don't forget awesome Christmas sweaters. We would have missed having you around too, so you know. :)

Kate said...

Ha! I'm still trying to forget those sweaters!!

And thank you :-)

BUSH BABE said...

I thought this was a great post Kate... thanks for the mention! Perhaps you should just go back to Hawaii for a reunion??
:-)
BB

karla said...

Ok girl! Now I'm thinking if you had stayed in Hawaii and married some gorgeous KiwiMan and had babies, I would HAVE TO go to Hawaii at least 4 times a year OR even move there to be near my bestest daughter! NOT FAIR! Look what you have cheated me out of!
Your desicions have directly affected the fact that I am sitting in Green River Utah. Wow, how's that for mother guilt!

Jayne said...

Mother. You are the queen of guilt. But we love you any way:)

Katie Kate, how can I tell you how glad I am that you are here? The only ONLY thing I will give you up for will be a hubby and kids, since you'll pretty much be perfect at all that business when it comes.

But for this time right now, you are a happiness in my children's lives (and ours) and we love you dearly.

Kate said...

Oh my goodness i am so sorry Mom! I totally didnt even think about that. It really is my fault that you are stuck in GR and i apologize :-) We could take a vacation to Hawaii this winter...how does that sound?

Kate said...

And thanks Jayne!

Janaan said...

Aw! We would have missed getting to know you too!